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Losing The Game

by The Blend

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1.
I seen ya walkin’ with a broken heart endin’ it where it was supposed to start Well I guess I gotta play my role and part, and take it from where it’s at to where you are. Now gimme five to ten, cos I’m out on foot takin’ my time with the streets real good. Can’t help but crack a grin walkin’ down Franklin swingin’ a left of Cedar until I hit the West Bank, kid. Folks from the campus call the Plaza the “crack stacks”, I call it my home and show it love like my back pack. I’m not gullible for these misrepresentations gettin stretched far as they can take it. Whether awaken or not, it’s always on my mind, like beats from Pete Rock and The Quest the Tribe. We can invest in rhymes and dress fresh with pride, but can’t accept our lives as profits to who sets the price. Easily convinced by what we think we’re destined, quick to follow any suggestions… I know to turn around when the road is dead-ended, but what to do when you’re on a one-way with no intersection? Eh, it’s all whatever to me cos’ when it comes down to it, it really ain’t that deep. So anyways, I’m on my way without further ado. I’m just lettin’ you know, you got people and a street to turn to. - Pre-Chorus Song to song, dawn to dawn, bond to bond Week to week, street to street, beat to beat I’m comin’ from Chorus Love, peace, bliss All things considered while we seek commitment. And it feels like one deep kiss we fear the end of as much as the beginning. And if this leads to one steep cliff I’m gonna jump off and I’m aimin’ for the ceiling. Love, peace, bliss. All things considered while we seek commitment. - Still rollin’ on Franklin like most cops with no job, but to keep a loaded gun and brown folks on close-watch. Sho nuff, it’s just another slow walk through the land’a 10,000 emcees and no love. I hate to sing it sad, but that’s the down right truth, when having beef is trendy and in-style to act spiteful. I mean, although I’d really like to think I’m cool, I’m just another geek disguised to look like you. I would like to fit in with out the strings I pull and not have to play the game like Link in Hyrule, always searching for heart in dark places, and swingin a sword for a lady you’re jus tryin’ to get a date with. That’s an overstatement, bout half-true. I’m just up against your average hassles and bad moods, a few roommates that wanna pull a jack-move, and more than enough emcees that would love to battle and see me get my ass kicked right after the matter and dragged off and abandoned in the back stall of a bathroom. I’m a sack and a half of bad news and damaged goods with a faith equivalent to a crap shoot. Sometimes we can’t admit that, so we act cool ‘til speakin’ our minds clash like striped hats and plaid suits. Every curve in a path has a straight, and the one I’m on is called Franklin, and I’m on my way. - Pre Chorus Chorus - The path to where this grass grew, but now covered in concrete and few extend through is my only concern, and all that I can do is follow it to where you are and catch you before you fall. So I’m turnin’ on Cedar, swiftly passin’ through with the momentum of the wind, making moves like sand dunes. Close enough that I could take a minute to stand still. Destination: West Bank, Riverside Castle. Another week passing, another crap shoot, another sun dancin’ out the daylight to its last tune. Watching the game go by, I can’t lose cos’ I’m sittin’ in the bleachers with a notebook and a pencil, less than half-full, nappin’ past noon, payin’ May’s rent two-months past due, callin’ out crews for the people they exclude, and not speakin’ or writin’ unless I have to. And it’s just another sidewalk traveled carryin’ a backpack full. Don’t go doin’ nothing crazy, I’ll be there in a few I’m on Cedar and I’m landing soon - Chorus
2.
I got a crush on this girl, so much that I’ve been runnin’ round the city actin’ on impulse, then all’a sudden hesitant when she’s crossin’ my thoughts like avenues in a rush, tryin’ to wave down a bus. I’m facin’ pages on a table strugglin’ to stay awake until I’m makin’ sense out of what I’m too afraid to say. Frustrated and stuck at a café with a cup, procrastinatin’ the day away, until the dawn’s mistaken for dusk. Still keepin’ puma laced, sleeves elbow up, out and makin’ moves with or without the sun. Both shoes to the bike pedals get my nerves settled, crossin’ downtown once again, returnin’ to the homestead. An urban Stonehenge surrounded by cement meadows all the way down the foundations: rock & metal, cops & ghettos, trombones & cellos, Link & Zelda, kick-drums, snares & cymbals. But could it be so simple? I caught her glancin’ my way once, lookin’ like she was starin’ out a window, non-chalant. Just happened to spare the time on a random face runnin’ out of words to rhyme. I’d give her what’s left, but wouldn’t dare to try, knowin’ all she has for me is a pair of careless eyes barely tied to that barren smile, sharp enough to cut through five layers of pride. It’s enough to make you feel like you don’t exist, and ever since the day you were born, nobody’s noticed. So devoted to makin’ a livin’ where it dies, hopelessness becomes an instinct to wake up prepared to fight. Up against her, it’s an unfair trial knowin’ she’s done damage that can only be compared to fire. Spare the smile, I didn’t come to share the while, I got two scores to settle on my last layer of pride.
3.
Ya put it on the surface but it’s nothin’ I wanna see Try to split me up in two like I’m my own dichotomy Sophie, I don’t wanna go, I hope ya take it like a rockstar Tear drop in the bucket and a crumb off the pie chart Burn it down, burn it down, burn it down, burn it down Burn it down, burn it down, burn it down, turn around - Chorus I’m out I’m out I’m out - What’s the use, what’s the use, what’s the use, what’s the fuckin’ use Treat me like your biggest mistake and your only excuse Sophie, I don’t wanna go, I hope ya take it like a rockstar Tear drop in the bucket and a crumb off the pie chart Shoot me down, shoot me down, shoot me down, shoot me down, Shoot me down, shoot me down, shoot me down, shoot me down. - Chorus I’m out I’m out I’m out I’m out Time out Die now - If South Dakota’s the cure, then I’m not a disease Minneapolis I’d love ya even without Spring Sophie, I’m not the reason Sophia This man is worth more than his debt.
4.
Now let me swallow all my pride and digest the funk. I got’a few stressed words but the rest is love for my people’s brown skin kissed with the sun rockin’ English as a second tongue. Let’s get it done: I’m only showin’ up to finals, yes I drunk dial, girl, I got 21 speeds on my cycle. You could hop on, but baby don’t pop the tires, they’re my mama’s wheels. Oh no, I can’t deny it like evidence in trials and drunken freestyles, I only represent the truth and nothin’ else, cos working class is how I work this craft and try to keep my product poppin’ like percoset. When I say “eat the rich”, they go thinkin I’m crazy like Marlowe, assumin’ that I’m too far gone. So when we get a grammy nomination I’ma roll my car slow down a red carpet with Carlos wit’ - Chorus Two-tone paint, sittin’ on twelves, stolen tape deck and a cracked winshield. Rollin’ down down Franklin, clutch 2nd gear Nowhere else but here - I sip shots from a shot glass that says “Puerto Rico”, stay black like my name stays Martinican, employee of the month, and the geek of the week, still keepin’ it badass like Steve McQueen. I got enough energy to jumpstart five cars and dodge emcees takin’ more shots than dive-bars. My time is too fast to be contained by days, so I’m measuring it page for page. Got no face to save or any flames to aim, not much pride to rhyme when you’re plain ol’ strange, The type’a kid to space out starin’ at walls in class and always roam around the school without a cause or hall-pass. I’m aimless, an unsure thing shootin’ to make it, accurate as an unsafe bet racing the day-shift, settled for low maintenance, pacin’ the pavement on an everyday quest and I’m keepin’ it basic - Chorus Two-tone paint, sittin’ on twelves, stolen tape deck and a cracked winshield. Rollin’ down down Lake Street, clutch 2nd gear Nowhere else but here - I push a short bus with a trailer on the back, sippin’ orange juice mixed with aristocrat. Dignity split with grace and good tact, but I keep rollin’ on with a tire drainin’ flat. Breathin’ with a paper bag, not to lose my head, cos my sister’s still askin’ me, “Who’s The Blend?” It’s either food and rent, or booze and gin, and that decision pends on how the afternoon gets spent: Writing for five hours ‘til my mind’s soured digested with the rest of what the time’s devoured. Brain blocked same spot, tryin’ to write it out, savin’ up, savin’ up, just enough to buy a vowel. If you’re comin’ up short, don’t know what your climbin’ for, I got my tattooed on the neck of the hi-score. Find the doors, keep ya dimes and quarters. I ain’t walkin’ outta here without my woman and the triforce. The Blend: a band’a honest cooks and working class heroes that never got a comic book. It’s the bike locksmith, style unadopted, Improvin’, late-night photoshoppin’, propless, nationally renowned and jobless, fresh off the wok, hot enough burn a dish, the black Irish, with a German twist AKA racially ambiguous. Standin’ between just enough and not quite, with my back as a fulcrum to measure what’s right. I’ll bridge the gap when I swim across, put it on my shoulders and carry it until it walks, against odds, results and means, an country makin’ profit off’a insultin’ queens. Lost the dream and control of a city buildin’ walls and condos in the congo. Your privilege, our problem. If you don’t wanna hear it, you can put it on-hold. They don’t wanna see Amina the scholar, they don’t wanna see me and Armando in a Silverado. Remote and console, I’ll settle for my bike Can’t let my wants get in the way of likes. God is a woman and her name is necessity. Most times I call her mom, cos she’s all I need. To represent as a overtime employee of the B-L-E-N-D. That might be nothin’ to you, but it’s somethin’ to me, and I push it with the utmost of L-O-V-E. - Chorus Two-tone paint, sittin’ on twelves, stolen tape deck and a cracked winshield. Rollin’ down down 38th, clutch 2nd gear Nowhere else but here
5.
Sunny Blue 07:01
Sunny Blue, I know you’re trying hard to find the truth, but this looks to me more like you’re searching for an excuse. If this goes down like you plan it, tomorrow’s going to be the same canvas as today except the paint will lack passion. Sunny Blue, I’m cool with not taking another step, but I do got a problem with you standing on that ledge. Being alive is painful, and right now death makes sense. Your heart’s strangled in the moment pressed against what’s next. I got the call from Annie, and ran ‘til my feet began draggin’, down 5th and Hampton cos’ both of my bike tires are flattened – sprintin’ soon as I got the news, she told me what you had been planning, and I figured to talk before you make this happen. I heard about the news with your significant other. Some kids were talkin’ about you at this party last summer. I was shook, cos’ whenever I saw the two of you together, ya’ll looked like you would never let go, no matter the relationship’s weather… well, I just don’t know what to say, I mean forever and never both got their final hours and I’ve let go so many times I forgot how to wrap my arms around. My bad, I kinda got carried away. I had the same situation as you with this girl I used to date. You know that feelin’ you be feelin’ when you get close with somebody, your sense of balance and solar system revolve around’em. This is bigger than that Sunny. I’m not gonna lie to you: for all I care you can jump off this bridge and hang up your pumas, be the headline story on all of the local news fronts, and for the next two months be the fact, fiction and rumor. I’ve concluded cryin’ the same tears and same tunes, and I did not sprint the long ends of eight city blocks to save you. Some are born with privilege and some aren’t, and I stay alive to fight for even grounds. So jump If you’re gonna stand there and not do it, I’m just gonna sit here and keep talking, just tell me if I’m a nuisance. I’d hate to break your train of thought deciding if to jump, or step down and walk away to contemplate a second run, ‘cos this isn’t a one-time thing, your life isn’t an episode, but if standin’ there helps you check yourself like a stethoscope, then so be it, but you’re searching to look admirable where not giving a fuck has become fashionable. The people that you want to care… don’t, and if you do this they’ll forget it like last year’s TRL host. Your self-esteem’s too dependent on your cell phone. Plus you cling to the past like bad Velcro. That’s natural Sunny, your situation’s not special. You’re tryin’ to hide it, but I can see you smiling half-way sarcastic ‘cos you don’t know what the hell you’re doing, and slightly crying ‘cos you know I’d jump with you. Sunny Blue, I gotta go soon. The dawn is calling, the sky’s getting bright and my eyelids keep falling. Morning traffic will turn your privacy to public and you won’t feel the same with so many people watching. I care about you, and that’s the plain and simple truth, even if it makes me look sensitive and vulnerable. Sunny Blue, fuck the whole world for all it’s not worth. I’d sacrifice my prided life to make your memories not hurt. Past the point what you feel, you can’t touch or physically handle, so you carve it in your skin to make the pain tangible. Couldn’t ignore long the swollen stripes in your forearms, rockin’ long sleeves in the summer whistlin’ your song. Any more harm, I heard you would’ve cut through muscle, but this isn’t about that, or any of your other personal struggles. This is a friend saying whatever choice you make, you’ll still be loved, but… I can’t relate. And before I go. Annie told me to tell you she loves you more than you’ll ever know. I told her that’s not enough, ‘cos you’re still standin’ here, quietly crying on the inside of your mind rationalizing death against how fucked up life is. I paused at the door, turned around and looked her right in her iris, and said I understand why she wouldn’t want to see something like this, but that if you jumped… I’d wanna be there before you do it. To let you know life is worthwhile when there’s at least one person in the world that loves you more than the word defines it. That’s how I feel. I gotta go.
6.
The Bandit 06:07
Prequel Ya say ya wanna change the clouds to white from gray. Dissolve the storms to sunshine, the light of day. Conduct directions of the wind and temperatures like May, turnover the overtures of time and sing’em through the rain It’s the same page, different book same page, different book What is this, another dirty dish in the kitchen I keep washin’ but the dirt is never finished. The sink and faucet are the only evidence of fruition. I swipe the time card and keep wishin’. It lasts a flash, alone a sweet instance, superfluous, golden, magnificent moment, that slips away, twists in the drain, and it never comes back, but I’ma still sit and wait. My mind drifts like a ghost, the past is in my system like a virus without a host. Sex, drugs, relationships, and faith- could turn a mile and a mountain, to an inch and a grain, burn a smile down to fits of rage, word it out ‘til it rips the page. Anyways, bring your seven mile stare and a clever smile to wear, and we’ll get apathetic ‘til we care. Same page Different book Same page Different Book Wait, wait listen look wait wait The Bandit Must be why we feel old when we’re young the same reason why we feel in control when we’re drunk, admirin’ stars that can’t glow in the sun, held to a crowd that left us alone on the run. I’m not much for what’s meant to be when folks can hold on to guns and let go of everything. I’m disengaged with all but this page like headphones in lecture hall bumpin’ Purple Haze. Curtain’s raised and I still got the fight in me. 2009, nothing surprises me. I’m stretchin’ fate far as you can set the date. I’ll be damned if I’m getting’ played like Kiss Me Kate. Rewritin’ the script is a piece’a wedding cake spectatin’ the campus pressing fakes in a desperate state, watchin’ lovers, that’ve only seen summer, wander into that false sense of comfort, disputes turn into fist feuds, drugs to dirstribute, classes to sit through, a never ending agenda we’re pinned to, and next week’s feeling like a island too far to swim to. I’d like to think tomorrow hasn’t been written yet and gets determined by what we’re givin’ it. But then you have to ask, watching another day collapse and crash into the past, “is this it?” - Pre Chorus Close as it gets, close as a kiss, Any closer than this we might stick Close as it gets, close as a kiss Any closer than this we might stick Chorus I’m runnin’ outta rage Comin down from up. If you can count your days, your time has long been done. If ain’t nobody gonna fix this, then I will. And if you don’t know by now, then I do. - Nice days only last ‘til the light fades and it’s not long ‘til everybody’s jumpin’ on the night train. I take flight late, avoid the pipe drain’s rush hour traffic backed up with the lightweights. Tryin’ to fly straight with the wrong flock goes together like orange soda and bomb pops. A day’s end never train wrecked off a slow hault, so while we’re at the pace of can’t-stop-won’t-stall, I’m tryin’ to 3-step between the road blocks. it’ll take more than track spikes and ankle-low socks, it’ll take more than fuck-offs and so-whats, more than you can afford off your mom and dad’s bucks. It’s a long-shot, but we act like we’re shootin’ close-ups posin’ with the rest and the most-ofs. It’s a long walk outside’a this circle. I’m’a start a fire, and it’s startin’ with the curtain. - Pre Chorus Close as it gets, close as a kiss, Any closer than this we might stick Close as it gets, close as a kiss Any closer than this we might stick CHORUS I’m runnin’ outta rage Comin down from up. If you can count your days, your time has long been done. If ain’t nobody gonna fix this, then I will. - Hangin’ on like a broken light bulb in the ceiling where no confidence can promise you’ll keep it. The feelin’ won’t fly unless it has more reason than the weekend and a full recovery from the previous. Compulsively obsessed in a tailspin facebook fanatic always checkin’ when the mail’s in. Your happiness is influx with your inbox tryin’ to get love when it’s not in stock. Cousin please, bet your etnies, disrespect runs directly barfights connect without assembly throwin’ more hooks than a fishin’ boat floatin Jack Dempsey. We know the math, but don’t wanna add it up: either you’re in like Flynn, or outcast like Elphaba. Simple measurements’a how we get down’ll leave a hole in the floor and six feet in the ground.
7.
Prequel I rolled up on Algoma and said alright now, I’m just gonna have one drink. I rolled up on Algoma and said alright now, I’m just gonna have one drink. Next thing I know, I woke up with my boxers gone and my pants on, and I didn’t know what the hell to think. Anarchy’s for Lovers Aside the fact your ex-boyfriend’s got a new tool, your twenty-somethin’ spirit’s screamin’ screw school. Just a lose-lose hand, whistlin’ confused blues wishin’ the rules would leave some room to move. Grab a paddle or learn to swim and grow some gills. The water’s fine when you can float by keepin’ still. If ya drown, there ain’t a lifeguard to stress it- can always hear a few freshmen yellin - Chorus She says she loves me, She loves me not, She says she loves me, She loves me not She says she loves me She says she loves me She says she loves me I said I love you too, but nothin’ like hip-hop - She steps on necks with high heels, won’t settle for anything less than ideal, a dragon in a land of wood swords and light shields, flies with the fire on reserve and eyes that hold time still. Unimpressed or convinced by any mirror held to this campus of Lady M’s and King Leers, desperate belles casting endless spells of fashionable personalities to defend the shell. Tryin’ to think clear, save water, drink beer hittin’ curves with the clutch caught up in fifth gear. I sit here on a smudged line between this queen and the so called social elite that won’t compete in any match for the title or the rights-to, or maybe it’s just too easy for me to shed light to another urban night, swimming in suburban hype For a kid that never wanted anything but words to write. She’s on her way to find the next shoes to step. They keep 80proof textin’. I hold the method and run the school like the New X-Men, and can still hear more than a few freshmen yellin’. - Chorus I said love you too until my heart stops Heart beatin’ like a jumper, Anarchy’s for Lovers real love is for those that’ve hardly seen summer. Either target or cover, Anarchy’s for Lovers real love is for those that’ve hardly seen summer. Impartial to slumber, Anarchy’s for Lovers real love is for those that’ve hardly seen summer. - Sometimes, sometimes, she gets tired of rappin’, stares at me funny like the last-man dancin’ up a storm, as if he never got drunk before, Makin’ out with the wall, huggin’ the floor. She said “Doo-wop and I’ll get the bill”. I told her “I can make it cook like tremendous twelves.” She said, “Yeah right.” I told her, “Tip well.” Cos I can ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Change it up like tempers often do Pushin’ walls until they move And fight in spite of love to prove and pride to lose. Now if you wanna paint it gray, then girl go ‘head Don’t mind me if I join in Can’t resist or avoid it Tell me what’s the Hold-up, Hold-up Hold-up, Hold-up Vanity’s here to stay Do I give addiction a name? Yes I do, Yes I do Yes I do, Yes I do If it’s fine with you, then find a fool See mama didn’t raise no tool In fact she gave birth to the cool Go’on ask yaself If it’s love and happiness, Or is it truth and who you’re happy with
8.
Control 04:41
Crazy games we play Crazy things we say we fight for control whether it’s right or wrong The truth is not enough The truth is not enough Happiness was it asking too much So why settle for the ride like the nearest pedals on a stolen bike to getaway Growin’ feathers that were never meant to fly, and strugglin’ to remember why ya’ came, all this way Fallen to the simple resolution: this is everything you’re not, but everything you want. So you hold on, just to let it go. Ya run around, run around, run around Burnin’ out, burnin’ out, burnin’ out Ya run around, run around, run around Burnin’ out, burnin’ out, burnin’ out On a sinkin’ ship, drownin’ in the now Reachin’ for the sky underneath the ground Holdin’ on to the ceiling People screamin, “Teach me how”. Am I just another drunk phone call you regret when the mornin comes Is what it is, who I’m supposed to be Is what it was, where I’m supposed to leave Ya use words like “love” and “forever” to heal the hearts ya severed I bet ya friends call ya “clever” I call you “never”. Ridin’ on a horse that’s always runnin’ late, but you insist that it’ll be on-time someday, chasin’ yesterday. Is it the question or the answer that you’re not willin’ to stop, and figure out where the hell you’re goin’ far as almost Fallen to the simple resolution: This is everything you’re not, but everything you want. So ya’ hold on, just to let it go Ya run around, run around, run around Burnin’ out, burnin’ out, burnin’ out Ya run around, run around, run around Burnin’ out, burnin’ out, burnin’ out Ya run around, run around, run around Burnin’ out, burnin’ out, burnin’ out Ya run around, run around, run around Burnin’ out, burnin’ out, burnin’ out Crazy games we play Crazy things we say I know why I’m alive, for sure, but what are we fighting for.
9.
Chase 05:19
The cloud’s hung low, where the night tied their nooses. I hung up the phone. “What a sight”, blind confusion. The news hit like truth upon the clueless, I threw a fit tryin’ to make use of the useless. Synonymous to holdin’ a conversation with Ronald Reagan debatin’ crack and Venezuela. If I told you that I tried, have to tell you that I lied, and hold the hope I was a day you remembered before you died. Can’t comply with what the time as done as much as write a song, or as much as any night is wrong to defy the sun. High-strung as the church bells hung across the street, risin’ up in the morning every time I hear’em ring. Y’see, I never thought of such, and never thought of much, but to sit and watch graffiti bloom at the bus stop. You’d be the song if these street’s cement could sing, but so it goes. - Chorus So it goes So it goes So it goes - It’s comin’ round to losin’ moments and hours lookin’ up against the rain, tryin’ to turn over clouds, and you’re nowhere to be found, so I stare the ground admirin’ how a crack in the sidewalk can hold a flower. All is lost, the sun confesses a dim bulb, inertia haults, planets commit to withdrawal, rivers pause as bridges fall into their arms, the globe stalls to question if it was designed to revolve. I can’t depend upon sight when the mind isn’t sure the weight of an absence, when acceptance isn’t first. It’s like the curb between the sidewalk and street. I’m walking it, but I don’t know where it’s taking me. Chase, are we waiting to leave or waiting to see through the coincidence we’re all here at the same time as breathing fools, or just to watch flowers grow from cracked cement? while my heart substitutes for a bomb ductaped to my chest. - Chorus - Something to bleed to, speak through, reach to until they open up the sky Something to keep to each truth and reason why I shouldn’t be alive Some people spend their whole lives runnin’ from nothing and they don’t know why People breathe to the music of your voice It’s the truth, and the soul don’t lie. Once again, for all it isn’t worth speaking against the ceiling, holdin’ on to the spinnin’ earth, constructed outta love, still rennovatin’ the word, planted where I stand, same pants different shirt. Couldn’t address a goodbye with a fresh suit and tie or find a funeral suitable to conclude a life. It’s sheerly outta bein’ human to give words to it cos’ most times music is the only place truth fits. Followin bliss down Franklin’s vein of the city. If tomorrow’s it, then tonight can bring it. Put my ear to the cement and I can hear it singin’, cryin’ out your name, wishing the sky would give it all back, and so it rains because it can’t. I see the only places we grow are from where we’re cracked, as the streets and clouds shout “know me now, Chase hold me down, Chase hold me down - Chorus

credits

released May 8, 2008

Vocals & Lyrics by Toussaint Morrison
Percussion by Spencer Austin
Keys by Linden Killam
Guitar by Todd Bordewick
Bass by Alex "Ralph" Bennett

Recorded in Minneapolis, MN

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The Blend Minneapolis, Minnesota

A nationally touring group of misfits making sound wherever beckoned, The Blend dominated the midwest pioneering hip-hop and rock in the same breath from dingy basement rock shows to capacity hip-hop shows. Now, their fate unknown having disbanded for several years, Linden Killam and Toussaint Morrison continue the group's legacy of unconventional, top tiered sound. ... more

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