Prequel
Walkin’ away from a dark gray season
Gray like the bottom’s of clouds with a threat to storm
I can feel her leavin’
She could be gone, maybe I missed my chance
But I still wait for her like I wait for the end of class
Steady losin’ the feelin’
Cos’ it’s a long way from comfort to face fear
I took the wrong way to get there, now I’m here
Writin’ just one more page
And if ya’ happen to see her, could ya’ tell her what I’m about to say

July

Who gives a fuck what ya’ shoot if ya’ don’t got aim,
so this must pertain

to an individual named J
despite cliché rhymes of romance and bad dates.
We lacked faith, and only made it sadly halfway.
When shit went down, no one would take the damn blame.
We were together like night and day ‘til we broke like dawn
on her terms, cos’ she owns the sun.
The whole globe, in motion, knows she’s stronger
than it’s own gravitational laws,

so it revolves whenever she calls- when she wants
while I sound like I’m whinin’ hope is gone.
Just another emcee heart broke and done
over the girl he ain’t with anymore, that’s what I’m far from.
Some run and jump until their lungs don’t pump,
or shoot up and up until their brains go numb,
to get over someone that made’em feel low,
when it’s so simple gettin’ high with a lone microphone.

Love triangles get mangled in rectangles,
peeps get angered and start stranglin’
other lovers up in the tangle.
Relationships’ll make ya’ act insane and strange. Well,
J the game is nothin’ to play with.
You know better than me, I’m still learnin’ the basics.
I’ve been rejected from “hell no’s” to rainchecks,
girls got me shook and breakin’ ape shit like a bboy’s laces.

Tryin’ to get somewhere, but the goddamn breaks stick.
Tryin’ to see straight, but I’m too damn wasted,
head achin’, same ol’ same shit.
J, I wouldn’t write about ya’ if thinkin’ of ya was painless.
Pages upon pages, won’t change shit.
Ran outta time and a means of communication.
The sun’s chill waitin’ patient for you to call on Spring.
I told it not to hold up and just sing
-
Chorus
Julie, not far from July
When everyone gots damn good reason to smile
There’s no such good thing, in this sunshine
Without its fair share of rain
-
I’m not bold or close to one hundred percent
solidon all of it, far from positive
as to how this circus is workin’
with sex, drugs and ex-girlfriends,
weekend one-night stands,
drunken phone calls- 3am-
losin’ sleep restin’ my forehead in both my hands
tryin’ real hard to pretend you’re another face in the crowd
passin’ by at another house party, while I’m sittin’ on the couch.

Turned down a five dollar cup to get drunk,
I’m stuck focused eyein’ up all the
guys n’ dolls runnin’ and chasin’,
playin’ hard-to-get, frontin’ and fakin’,
makin’ the call or by their cell phone waitin’
stressed out tryin’ to leave or spark a conversation.
Watched a lot of kids try and take it like an equation,
but their head gets rocked like a fresh pair of brand new Asics.

Wish I could play this all off,
dissolved like a grain of salt,
talk smooth and lucid like a don’t give two shits
or two cents to grab a mic and speak to it.
The truth is: goin’ shady and ruthless,
walkin’ out unimpressed, cuttin’ friends to useless
ain’t nothing original or brand new shit.
So cut ya’ too-drunk-to-remember excuses.

Call me uptight, childish, narrow minded,
say I’m in love with the idea and my words got nothin’ behind’em.
I don’t mind it, but I’ll admit it’s gettin’ redundant
writin’ my affection for ya’ cos’ I don’t feel it when I recite it.
Words go so far and fall short to explain
holdin’ your hand in December feels like May,
your lips taste like solstice (change)
and no beauty queen could ever do that ‘til they live up to your name.

It’s been a month…
I got ya back it’s no thing. I sing
-
Chorus
Julie, not far from July
When everyone gots damn good reason to smile
There’s no such good thing, in this sunshine
Without its fair share of rain
These clouds in my eyes, killed off ya’ day blue
But complainin’s no use
When they said my heart had fooled me, but I knew it was right
When someone makes everyday feel like July